Brad Stine's Blog Nation

A Snow Death

bradstine — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 06:38:29 -0600

It snowed last night. Snow is a curse. Snow is evil. Snow is what happens when the atmosphere solidifies and falls on your head. Snow is Chicken Little’s justification. Snow falls from the heavens and smothers the earth. It is cold, wet, and slippery.

There is no upside to walking in snow. It gets in your shoes and up your pant legs.
Its main purpose on cement is to disguise the ice. Ice is snows evil twin. Those foolish enough to walk out in snow are sure to get too cocky and believe that walking from your front door to ...

A New Year to Fail!

bradstine — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 12:22:01 -0600

Nothing says failure like a New Years resolution! I mean has anyone ever come to the end of a whole year, paused to look back and was able to say, “Yep, I accomplished every goal I set for 08. I conquered every bad habit I despised and yes, I am a completely transformed person. Come one and all and learn from me”. No! Never!

The idea of making a new years resolution has become a punch line. We live in a culture though that no longer expects or demands us to discipline ourselves but instead would rely on psychologists and ...

Gifts of Love

bradstine — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 12:34:27 -0600

Well men Christmas is just 2 days away and if you’re like me you still haven’t finished your shopping. Nothing is more nerve racking and perfect at sucking the life out of the holiday season than the pressure of trying to figure out those last minute perfect gifts for your wife.
Here are a few suggestions for presents for the spouse that should help make Christmas day a huge hit at your house.

1) A flat screen plasma T.V. ; The great thing about flat screens is they are on the wall and off the old conventional television nooks that ...

Rudolph's Overrated

bradstine — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 06:39:42 -0600

I came across a classic Christmas song the other day and after examining the words I have come to realize how easily humans accept ideas at face value without scrutinizing them for philosophical and/or cultural flaws. The song I’m referring to of course is “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”.
Here are the lyrics with my copious notes:

“Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer”…
Stop! First off, why bring up the red nose? If you have a red-nosed reindeer it is fairly obvious and social decorum would dictate you keep it to yourself to save the reindeer’s embarrassment. We don’t treat others that way ...

Let There be Pee on Earth

bradstine — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 07:15:00 -0600

The atheist idiot ideology is at it again. Apparently taking umbrage with a 19-year tradition of putting a nativity scene and Christmas tree on the lawn of the Washington state capitol they responded with a placard denouncing Christianity as a fairytale and also state that many of the Christmas traditions like choosing Dec 25 and decorating trees was stolen from the pagans.

Only an atheist could be self deluded enough to believe insulting a religion they don’t believe in by sticking up for a religion they don’t believe in could be considered rational.
Reason after all is the god of ...

Grateful for the Annoying

bradstine — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 07:37:26 -0600

During this Thanksgiving Holiday I believe it is important to take a moment to thank God for the little things that often get ignored or neglected in our hectic lives. Lots of football will be watched over Thanksgiving for example, which reminds us to take time and say a little prayer thanking God for commercials. Why commercials you ask?

Thus proving my point that we as Americans often neglect to realize the crucial theological principle that what Satan meant for evil God uses for our good.
Commercials were first implemented in the 50”s I believe when T.V. was in its ...

Thank God for the Little Stuff

bradstine — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 13:16:30 -0600

During this Thanksgiving Holiday I believe it is important to take a moment to thank God for the little things that often get ignored or neglected in our hectic lives. Lots of football will be watched over Thanksgiving for example, which reminds us to take time and say a little prayer thanking God for commercials. Why commercials you ask? Thus proving my point that we as Americans often neglect to realize the crucial theological principle that what Satan meant for evil God uses for our good.
Commercials were first implemented in the 50”s I believe when T.V. was in its ...

X Stands for Political Correctness

bradstine — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:31:14 -0600

Didn't God Invent our Privates?

bradstine — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:01:15 -0600

When Adam and Eve fell from grace after eating from the tree of good and evil, one of the “evil” things they came to realize was they were naked.
I don’t know exactly why being naked with your wife while being the only humans on earth would be considered evil?
It seems to me it should have been considered exactly how it felt prior to the apple…GOOD!

I can’t speak for women, but for a man to get to wander around outside nude surrounded by beautiful trees and sky and, oh yeah, a naked lady, would still be paradise in ...

Rinse and Repeat...again

bradstine — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:37:30 -0600

I was reading a dandruff shampoo bottle in the shower in order to find out how to use it properly. That’s right, I was trying a dandruff shampoo my wife insisted I use.
As a Christian it would have been much easier if I were an Assembly of God member for then I could simply cast out the demon of flaky scalp and send it into a herd of head lice in order to run off a cliff, which would have been ironic as well as appropriate.
What I found most interesting was that the directions adamantly stated I was ...

Don't Censor my Lips!

bradstine — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 20:02:00 -0500

Heard a guy whistling at the airport the other day. Americans used to whistle a lot more especially in movies. Humphrey Bogart, Jimmy Cagney, Jimmy Stewart were all whistlers and it even seemed particularly masculine.

I don’t know when whistling stopped or why. Was it custom that died out because others grew annoyed at the whistle guy and punched him periodically, or was it because of something much more sinister? Remember, in the world of PC-eople they must always find “oppressors” so they have an enemy to , well, oppress!

It’s easy and it works like this.

“What evil syndicate ...

What Would Judas Do?

bradstine — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 18:45:56 -0500

Is there a “Christian” way to vote? One thing I know for sure is if you vote for someone believing they will never disappoint you or abuse your trust in them or just plain old screw up while their in office you’re in for a load of disappointment.
We are about to vote for the next president of the United States of America. Both candidates claim to be Christian’s but does that automatically qualify them to be president? No, of course not.
What obligation do Christians have when voting for a public servant? The truth is we have the same ...

Try This at Home!

bradstine — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:04:41 -0500

Every show worth watching on T.V. usually comes with the caveat which warns the viewers that the amazing, unpredictable, exciting and dangerous thing they are about to do should never be attempted by the rest of us. These are trained professionals. There is though one major flaw in their reasoning. The reason why these guys got good at what they’ re demo-ing, is only BECAUSE THEY TRIED IT AT HOME!

If you never try it at home you never get good enough to demonstrate your skill in front of others. Those same “others” that you warn “don’t try this at ...

Science of the Absurd

bradstine — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 10:16:33 -0500

In honor of the upcoming baseball playoffs let me ask a question. Have you ever noticed that when humans win an event, whether it’s a race or tennis match, they thrust their arms in the air? Have you ever wondered why? No?

Me neither.

You know why, because we have a life! The evolutionary behavioral scientists, on the other hand, apparently don’t. Not having found enough ways to waste taxpayer’s money through government research grants, they have commenced a new study of athletes and why they have the habit of raising their arms in victory and deflating their chest in ...

DO YOU SPEAK CHRISTIANESE?

bradstine — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:49:59 -0500

I grew up in the church. Consequently I became fluent in Christianese by age of 10. Christianese for those who don’t know is the ability to communicate ideas through the prism of some tradition or denominationally imposed borders usually based on terms and words taken from the King James Bible
.
King J used a lot of cool words and idioms that define American Christianese like “blessed” and “stumbling block”. King Jimmy also used words that would be considered inappropriate for use in a Sunday service. One of the classics being the word “pisseth” ( 1 Sam:25:22 ) which by ...

Eat Sugar, You Coward!

bradstine — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 10:47:02 -0500

Where would we be without that purveyor of truth and tolerance, the education system? What must it be like to be so concerned about children that you can begin to dictate what they are allowed to eat at school and, more importantly, at home?

I bought some Frosted Flakes the other day and failed to notice they came with a 1/3 less sugar. Let me make this crystal clear. There is only one reason why I buy Frosted Flakes...FOR THE FROSTED!! If I wanted Frosted Flakes with the sugar removed I would have bought Wheaties!

My wife tells me the ...

Look Ma...I'm a Columnist!

bradstine — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 09:52:22 -0500

Well it's official. New Christian Voices has completely lost its mind! They just invited me to do a weekly column offering my take on this extremely difficult and sometimes frustrating journey known as Christianity.

Though humbled, I seriously need to evaluate or lack thereof an editor that would trust me, to inform and enlighten fellow believers. Hey guys, have you ever heard of prayer and waiting on the still small voice of God before hiring the loud, unorthodox voice of brad?

Kinda like embracing the proverbial bull in a china shop. No, that would be too easy. This is not ...

Too Smart to be Dumb

bradstine — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 09:30:45 -0500

This is the most difficult concept for a human to integrate into their worldview. "When what I believe conflicts with what is true, I change what I believe". Seems rational enough doesn't it? What idiot wold continue to believe something they have been shown is untrue or at the very least suspect.

Yet this is the main concept being examined in the new docu-omedy film by Ben Stein " Expelled". It explores the arguments between neo-Darwinist evolutionary theory and Intelligent Design. What I love about the film is its main premise is not trying to prove I.D. as much as ...

Bring Back the Phone Booth

bradstine — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:42:12 -0600

I have complained about the lack of turn signals being used in America in one of my DVD's awhile back. (Which one I'm unsure of as believe it or not I forget half the stuff I do on an old album cause I'm always working on a new one.)

I was really flabbergasted though as people even began stopping in the middle of the road to go left or right w/o a signal. ( probably to make it more difficult to know which direction your going to yell at them in time?) But the other day I figured out what ...

here.

bradstine — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 09:22:59 -0600

Once upon a time there was a comedian named Bra..er...Bert. He was told by his management and agents and bookeeper and lawn care maintainence specialist and others even less crucial in his life that in order to be a proffessional comedian with a proffessional website and have fans respect and adore him he must actively keep a blog going at all times or he will look like a non-professional comedian that doesn't care about his people and they will turn on him and lash out and send him nasty notes and demand locks of his hair in order to do ...

Excluding Inclusiveness

bradstine — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 07:42:55 -0600

Many of you who have my albums,( that's right...ALBUMS , I'm old school baby) may have noticed I took time in 2 of them to rant about Christmas. Not the holiday so much as the word. I don't need to beat that dead horse about the removal of the word from stores , schools, and even our own mouths , as that truth is self evident.

What I did want to comment on was the irony that in the desire to be inclusive, our social community became the opposite. First we must explore which Holidays were being left out of the December celebration? There ...

Merry Halloween

bradstine — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 06:58:48 -0500

Well Halloween's over. How I'm going to miss that festive holiday. Sure I know, Thanksgivings coming and then Christmas, but nothing seems to get me in a festive mood more than headstones, spiders, and the undead.

I don't mind kids having a night of costumes and candy extortion, but when did the entire month of October become a tribute to Halloween. Our neighborhood had Halloween decorations up the entire month! A months worth of decorations used to be reserved for Christmas only, and why not? Beautiful lights hung on homes, wreaths and Poinsettias, Christmas music wafting through the ethers.

Christmas ...

OUCH!.....ALOT!!

bradstine — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 14:50:20 -0500

Hey folks I have been out of the loop for a few weeks. I know what your thinking, I was on some spiritual fast/prayer designed to bring me to an even deeper understanding of God and the world around me. Actually ...no. I had surgery 3 weeks ago.

My first time under the knife. The culprit? The disdain of all travellers for years....HEMMORHOIDS! 3 nasty, huge thrombosed (full of blood) butt DEMONS.

I was told by my surgeon that they were the worse case she has had this year. Beautiful! That's what I was shooting for. Folks let me make ...

Lindsey Lohans ...dad

bradstine — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 11:44:01 -0500

I opened my Fox news mainpage to see what was fair and balanced in America today and was shocked to find out Lindsey Lohan has a substance abuse problem. When I say shocked I mean of course from the Latin "kindofias obviousage".

Lindsey is suffering ,so says the article, from the hollywood stars who have taken her under their well pharmaceuticaled wings, and taught her the ropes when it comes to using illegal substances all the while getting a photo op and a 3 picture deal.

I feel sorry for someone so young getting trapped by their immaturity into a ...

God is Good?

bradstine — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 18:46:31 -0500

One habit I have noticed from my fellow tribesman is the line they use often after a positive moment occurs in their life. Ex: "Look your tax return payed you money;Yeah,God is good!" Now I too believe that God is good but why do we say that line only after something "good" happens? Isn't God good no matter what occurs in our life? Shouldn't we be consistent in saying after we here someone backed into our car "Hey, God is good".

Oftentimes we interpret "good" things as only being what we believe to be positive in our lives. Yet the truth is that ...

So You want to be in the Movies?

bradstine — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 08:21:08 -0500

On June 23rd and 24th I will be taping a comedy concert with 3 other excellent comedians. They all are in mainstream..Jeff Allen, Ron Pearson and Anthony Griffin. We all also happen to be christians.

It is called the Apostles of Comedy and is in the vein of the Blue Collar Tour movies.We will do comedy sets and then have a round table discussion to explore how our faith influences our comedy as well as "getting real" about our flaws, failures, and a transparency rarely seen in a "christian" project

Our goal is to define ourselves to America as opposed ...

France is Right

bradstine — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 10:56:56 -0500

Recently in a poll conducted by the Internation Herald Tribune a startling fact has surfaced, France hates itself. In a European poll 44% of French people had a negative view of themselves. This in comparison to the 38% of Americans who think badly about them.

France has become an international punchline when Germany thinks the most highly of them of all European nations polled ;and that's simply because they were the easiest country for Germany to occupy. Remember, Frances contribution to sports is the bicycle race. Bicycles!, you know, so they could practice running away.

In my first album I ...

What a Country

bradstine — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 14:28:22 -0500

Hey, I just returned from the T.V. correspondents dinner in D.C. I was invited by my new friend John Donvan who has done 2 Nightline pieces on me. It was weird too be dining with George W. and his wife. It was the first time I have ever been in the same room with a president of the United States AND come to find out, it's the first time a president has been in the same room as me.

I believe he was less impressed. I ran into Jon Voight, Geraldo Rivera, Bill O'reilly, Wolf Blitzer, Brian Wilson, Nancy Pelosi, ...

GodMen

bradstine — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 16:19:32 -0500

Godmen 2 is over! It seems to have been an amazing event and the guys in attendance were blown away. We had Good Morning America there as well as Niteline. I will be on Good Morning America this Thurs morning so tune in. We are also getting ready to launch this nationwide so hope to see you all there ( if your a guy) in the future. We'll have pictures up on our site Godmen.org soon. Later, brad

How "Right" we Are

bradstine — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 09:56:33 -0600

One of the easiest phrases to roll off the tongue of an American is when speaking of our "rights". I have the "right" to freedom of speech based on the 1st amendment. I have the "right" to pursue life , liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I have the "right" to believe in whatever God I choose ; or no God at all. I have the "right" to disagree with the decisions my government makes without fear of reprisal and the "right" to get rid of them if I think they're doing a bad job. I have the "right" to own ...