As Christmas 06 nears and a new year is about to unfold, let me take a sec to speak from my heart. I would like to start with a confession that may startle some of you, ready? ...I'm not perfect.

 Most of the time whenever I try to accomplish something, whether it's a new comedy routine , or making different behavior choices, or whatever, I always feel rather incompetent. The only thing I know for certain is I want to do the right thing.

 I want to be valuable and encouraging to others, and I want to live my faith in a way that pro-actively ministers to others needs as opposed to trying to convince, in words ,the authenticity of the idea that at one time in human history, God...the God we all think about, or love, or doubt or disbelieve in...actually showed up on earth in order to set men free from their greed, and hate and anger and despair.

I have grown alot this year, especially in the area of self-righteousness. When I began to become vocal about my faith and social beliefs in my comedy I was only responding to a specific group of Americans who I believe tried to tell me that you can't be edgy, provocative , interesting, smart etc as a comic unless you are far left in your politics and use as much sexual material and cursing as possible in your show to prove how hip you are.

Even though I try to speak for the "other half of America" I always tried to attack opposing ideas as opposed to attacking people personally. I, (if you read the internet blogs et al) was not granted this same respect.

 But this goes with the territory of being in the public eye and I have to accept that. But...I am human. When I am attacked personally...it hurts. I imediately begin to question whether I did something wrong or in some way didn't represent well, the Jesus I believe is alive today.

To be attacked by atheists, anti-Christian bigots and the like is nothing new to my tribe and it shows me why Jesus was silent towards his accusers. Not because he wasn't the Truth...but because his accusers were not interested in the truth and found sado-masochistic pleasure in his pain. Sometimes silence and love is the grander statement.

The new project I embarked on was Godmen. It was a new idea from a American Christian perspective and its only purpose was to create an enviroment for one day, where men could see what our faith looked like when only honesty was permitted.

 This maiden experiment came with a disclaimer.." Judge nothing today so we can get as real and authentic as possible without being influenced by church traditions that have often caused us to censor our true doubts and pain and left us impotent when it comes to true potential healing. After the event we will analyze what took place and if anything IS inappropriate or gratuitous or ineffective...we'll change it. We need grace to do it wrong to find new ways to do it right."..In other words, give us what God gives us daily.

 We didn't ask for media attention as first of all, a Christian event can never be evaluated by a non-believer  wholly objectively. Not that there is always an agenda necessarily, but the job of a reporter is to tell a story that SELLS, so finding potentially salacious elements and emphasizing them is mandatory. I believe both reporters meant us no harm and are professionals trying to do their job and I wish them a wonderful life.

Somehow, maybe through our negligence (or ignorance) in describing ourselves properly, the story was that we believe in cussing and smoking as being truly a Christian way for a man to behave. I have in a personal e-mail blast to my fanbase, answering my boards, and answering on the Godmen site tried to explain where we thought a reader could misperceive our actual intent and to define it from our perspective so you would get the complete story.Is Godmen dangerous? You bet. Dangerous in a godly encouraging way,see for yourself! 

We are redoing our site for the 1st of the year to include testimonies from men who were THERE! If you ever see the event live I am sure you will see the beauty of it and its need for men in America. Especially for men who care nothing for church and church people as they understand us.

We received hundreds of responses from men begging us to bring it to their town, of course we also received many responses from Christians judging us without inquiring of us first. They chose to take the word of the L.A. Times over their own tribe. Many men were healed that day and another event is coming in March, but if you read my ramblings I am assuming your are my friends so I am saying to you...I'm tired.

 I'm tired of fighting my own and the legalism that drives them. I'm tired of a Christianity that has decided to make the outward appearance more important than inward transformation. I'm tired of being slandered by my own who believe that when proven wrong, all they owe is an apology.

 I'm tired of my faith being hijacked by those who choose one or two sins to drive their cultural battlecry , but do nothing to heal the brokenhearted, the poor, the hungry, the imprisoned. I'm tired of the Christians who NEVER put themselves in harms way but instead have been "prompted by the Holy Spirit" to point out where the rest of us are doing it wrong.

 Anyone out there that resonates..I covet your prayers.I need fellow travelers to carry me once in a while. I want to quit......... but I won't. I am driven by a faith that promises an eternity with "I am", the creator of all existence. You better be there Lord...I'm tired. Merry Christmas to All. See ya next year. brad stine