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All Hail the Rat People
Why is it that no matter how many experiments are conducted, no matter how much money is spent or government grants given, the only species that seems to benefit from experimentation on diseases is ...rats. I guess mice count too but lets be honest, as far as a species goes they're both in the running for least admired living creature so whats the dif? Never the less we are always hearing about some new breakthrough that is going to cure the world of diabetees, obesity, aids, or some other disease that none of us new existed in the first place. Then after they sucked us in to buying their paper for the article we get to the fine print..."Of course so far these results have only been observed in rats." First off doesnt it seem we are giving way too much power to rats? I mean if they are used because somehow their internal biological system is similar enough to humans that its worth exploring, then we have to count on the rats to be honest in their responses to the potential side affects of whatever drug is being used. Maybe rats are smarter than we realize and are simply faking horrific side affects simply to get back at us for all these years of experimenting on them and their kindred? All a rat has to do is wait for the latest miracle drug that will potentialy cure cancer to be injected in them...wait a couple seconds and then begin to walk into the side of the cage like they've suddenly gone blind. The scientists are downtrodden, meanwhile the rest of the rats are yucking it up watching "shecky" the rat do his latest bad reaction to new drugs routine. " OHH, I'm limping and periodically going into unpredictable and periodic somersaults followed by uncontrollable barking and knawing at my hind quarters" Big laugh for the rat family and back to the drawing board for the dejected scientist. Since so many promising results always seem to occur only in the rats yet it never transfers to humans, maybe the scientists are doing it all wrong? Perhaps more research money should be spent in learning how to alter human genes to become more "rat like"? That's another reason why I don't buy evolution. Apparently humans "evolved" the ability to use their minds to research how to better survive, but along the way un-evolved our rat like qualities that kept us from getting the disease in the first place! Sounds to me like "natures" a big fat screw-up.Then again what do I know, I'm just a comedian.
Comments
Re: All Hail the Rat People
by
shortstopjpc
on Tue 03 Jan 2006 02:31 PM CST | Profile | Permanent Link
I am just glad that the evolution people, have decided not to kill anymore of our monkey brothers, which by the way I tried to get on a plane the other day with a monkey, and they would'nt let me on with him...... But I evolved from him, he is my bro........ Then again, the monkey, who I like to call bill, could have also been denied due to his links with Al kida, which sounds very close to our terrorists friends, but in fact is just a chimpanzee with a funny name. I think we should experiment on those dummies that they use for CPR,,,,,,,,,,,, I mean you can pound on those things, throw em around, wipe em down with alcohol and their ready for the next experiment....... This would keep the rat lovers out of your hair, and lets face it,,,,,,,, how could it hinder progress,,,, when there's been none. Why dont they experiment on government cheese,,,,,,,, what ever happened to that stuff,,, it was great. They probably stopped it because guys like me somehow got it,,,,,,, and I never qualified,,,, I dont know how that happened. And, if rats are a true indicator of human behavior and reaction, why dont they crash test using them,,,, look at the money they will save on vehicles alone, a rat car is way smaller. And besides that the slow motion pictures would be priceless......... Send the crash test dummies over to CPR and put em to good use. Little rats with helmets on, flailing about, classic,,,,,,,,. Since evolution is a theory, perhaps we should consider the possibility, that we may have evolved from rats, which would explain my urge to run on oversized large wheels. The only thing I would have a problem with is, if we did find out we came from rats, we would have to celebrate rat rituals and such...... I can just see the family water jug/dispenser being changed to a pet waterer, you know, the upside down container with a metal ball at the end,,,,,,,,,,,,, gross, everyone licking off the same ball,,, look at the money you'd save on cups though,,,,,, hmmmmmm,,,, Well, brad thanks for triggering these oddball thoughts in my head, I really appreciate that.. well, back to the factory.
Re: All Hail the Rat People
by
ziobuck
on Tue 03 Jan 2006 03:07 PM CST | Profile | Permanent Link
Brad:
As usual, your observations are brilliant! (Except for equating the cute little mice species that have given us the likes of "Mickey and Minnie", "Jerry" of 'Tom and Jerry' fame, and "Mighty" with those of king Rats, "You...you....you dirty rat", and the Rat Pack!) However, it may be premature to dismiss evolution, though I do understand scholars think we came from monkeys. I use to have rats as pets when I was about 8 years old. We had 3. One killed another one (Cain and Able....just like humans), which left two, who became seriously anti-social with me, even biting me at times. Yes, they were just like humans, biting the hand that blesses them, not appreciating the blessings they had, i.e., a comfy, fresh daily saw-dust, upstairs pad, 3 squares a day with plenty of water to replenish water and electrolytes lost from exercising on the treadmill, and ... job security, a locked fenced gate to prevent their escape, I mean, er...to protect them from evil predators. Isn't it interesting that humans and rats are so compatible and competitive that they both have "RAT Races"? Both can be exterminated using RAT Poison (hey, I watch CSI). And, both can do what nobody likes, even gang members, i.e., "Rating each other out". Researchers seem to comprehend this inherent equality of humans and rats. Understanding human's penchant for over indulgence, researchers always inject 95 times the amount of ....well, anything.....into rats to determine the ill effects on the rats. I mean, really. If you injected me with 99 times the normal daily consumption of cheese by a human, I would die of constipation. Duh! And, of course, we haven't even touched on the study of overcrowding and socializing of humans in a community as it relates to the study of rats living over layers and layers of other rats in a cage. Perhaps I just don't undertand the nuances of biological research and the indefatigable efforts of researchers to try and draw conclusions based on comparative studies of humans and their ever-so, closely related, cousins, ...the rats!!! --Ziobuck forgetting his BS degree in biological sciences 3 decades ago. Re: All Hail the Rat People
by
falco339
on Fri 06 Jan 2006 02:16 PM CST | Profile | Permanent Link
Well Brad, it's about time you posted here again...and thanks for making it a good one.
A rat conspiracy...who'd a thunk it? Do they also have their little rat-sized black helicopters to swoop down on those who figure them out, to abduct them and wisk them away to rat-sized government installations, where they are tortured...sorry, 'interrogated' - torture is against the law now...'spoken to menacingly' to find out just how much they know? Remember Mel Gibson & Julia Roberts in 'Conspiracy Theory'? Think about it...get a nice picture of it in your mind... Now picture all of the bad guys as rats. Brad, keep an eye out for tiny helicopters. Re: Re: All Hail the Rat People
by
shortstopjpc
on Fri 06 Jan 2006 05:32 PM CST | Profile | Permanent Link
I'm pretty sure the only thing they have actually proven to work using RATS,,,,,,,,,,, is RAT poison....
We have the poison,,,,, but what will we use to test it?..........hmmmmm,,,,, I will just bet, that at one time,,,,,, what we now define and use at RAT poison, may have been at one time,,,, a possible cure. Scientist: I have found the cure for............ Helper: Sir,,,,, um,,,,,,,, its dead Scientist: The,,,,,Rat population. Why did'nt they test that olestra stuff on Rats,,,,, that would have saved a little trouble. Scientist: the rats,,,,,,, they're,,,,,,,,,,,, leaking I think they deserve their own billboard,,,,,,,,,,, for crying out loud we have cheese testing, wine testing next exit,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but never Rat,,,,,,,,,, give the Rats a sign. That would explain also why there's never been a cure for male baldness,,,,,,,,,, Unless someone else has witnessed a bald rat..... I dont think so... And if the cure to baldness might be high in the canopy of the Rainforest,,,,,,,,,,, then lets get a bunch of bald guys,,,,,, go grab some rope and a jungle guide,,,,,,,,, and get in that canopy and start eating everything that isnt bolted down......... First guy to come out with hair,,,,, wins,,,,,,, and gets a patent. And whats up with the mouse and the maze thing,,,,,,,, is that all mice are good for, other than training kids how to clean cages...... Dogs,,,,,,,, dogs are smart,,,, yes,,,, dogs will not smoke,,,,,,, but they will eat cat poop. Humans,,, wont eat cat poop,,,,,,,,, willingly,,,,,,,,, but they will smoke... I think its toss up. Humans,,,,,, however,,,,,,,, say the dogs mouth is cleaner than the humans,,,,,, is this before or after the cat poop...jC Trackbacks
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